Pursuing a Healthier Me

This is going to be a hard post for me to write, I can feel it already. Not because I don’t know what to say, but because I’m going to be completely raw and honest and open about my weight loss journey and struggle. I've shared on my blog plenty of times my goals for exercising and eating. I've shared when I've felt both defeats and victories along the way. But through it all, I've been kind of ambiguous of actual numbers and goals and specifics. Today that changes, because today I want to bare it all! So here comes the full story of my weight loss journey. And I do mean full story. So grab a seat, and a glass of water, and maybe a snack, and get comfy...

I think I was pretty “normal-sized” up until middle school probably. And then I was just a little chubby. In high school, I was still gaining a little bit, but wasn't too bad yet. I was a cheerleader from 8th-12th grades, and so I was always really physical and active with that. I don’t know exactly how much I weighed, but my guess somewhere between 175 throughout most of those four years, and maybe 190 or so by graduation.

June 2006, right after high school grad. Prob around 190 or so.

Then in college I guess things started getting out of hand. I wasn't cheering anymore, and so I was far less active than I had been. I was also eating crappy dining hall food a lot, and even crappier dorm food. Eventually I started working at Chick-fil-A, and I mean hello – they’re food is so yummy, so of course I ate that a lot. Once I moved into my own apartment, I would cook for myself, but I wasn't really worrying about trying to fix healthy meals or anything. And I was still gaining weight, without really even realizing it much.

I did a few active things so I wasn't completely sedentary, like occasional bike rides and swimming, but it wasn't really enough. I also had an at-home work out DVD of a "Dancing With the Stars" routine that was quite fun, and of course entertaining for my roommates :) My fall semester of senior year, my roommate Bridget and I started going to the gym at our complex once a week or so. But I wasn't motivated at all. Spring semester of senior year, we started doing zumba on campus twice a week, and I freaking loved it! It was such a great work out, it was fun, and I got to do it with a big group of my girl friends too. And now I had started trying to eat a little healthier and be more conscious of what I put into my body. It wasn't anything drastic, but it was a small start…

When I graduated college in April 2010, I weighed 227 pounds. I think before that semester though, I was probably somewhere around 230-235, but I didn't have a scale then so I’m not sure. All I know is I had definitely lost a few pounds that year going to the gym and zumba, so I know I must have been at least 230 at my heaviest.

April 2010, right before college grad. Probably around 230 pounds or so...

In August 2010, I went on an amazing road trip with some of my best girl friends. We had a great time, traveled to and through about 15 states, and did so many fun things! However, we tried to hike a mountain trail in Tennessee, and I could barely make it. I kept having to stop and rest, and it took me about ten minutes longer to reach the top than it took the other girls. I was shaky and out of breath, and obviously out of shape. I knew then that I finally had to make some real changes! And then looking at pictures of the trip, I hated how round my face was, and how my features all kind of melted away behind the fatness in my face. I finally had to admit I was fat. And I didn't like it.

August 2010, on the Great American Road Trip, somewhere around 225-230

 So September of 2010, I finally started to do something about it! I started on the Slim Fast plan and ate it for breakfast and lunch, with some healthy snacks throughout the day, and then one real meal for dinner time. And I started walking around my neighborhood by myself and with my family a couple times a week. I did this pretty religiously for a few months, and by December 1, 2010, I was at 217 pounds. And then I found a place to start zumba here in Tallahassee! And then I got really serious.

I was very good about what I ate, and was always trying to find the healthier options when possible. I continued to go to zumba twice a week, and did whatever else I could. My goal was to get under 200 pounds before Easter of that year, 2011. And I did it! I kept up my good work, and kept pushing at it. I was motivated and I was on a roll. By August 2011, I was at my lowest that I could actually remember, of 192 pounds. At that point, I had lost 35 pounds!! I was ecstatic. I was wearing clothes a bit smaller (and a smaller bra size- holler!), I could actually tell I looked so much better, my face was thinner, my arms were toning out, and my legs were leaner.

Summer 2011. Probably around 195 pounds. (If you're confused - I'm in the teal shirt and jean shorts.)

Summer 2011. Somewhere around 193-194 pounds. And look at those legs!

I was starting to like the way I looked a whole lot more than before. And I had met a cute boy in May :)

August 2011. First trip with Jeff to St. Augustine!

Then in August 2011, Jeff and I started getting really serious. And I stopped caring as much about my diet! All I wanted to do was hang out with this cute boy – not work out or worry about what I ate. And so hang out with this cute boy I did. We went out to eat and I got whatever I wanted, and we went to movies and ate popcorn with soda, and I just stopped caring quite as much. And things started to slip. And I started gaining the weight back. Then in February 2012, I went to the doctor and found out I was 212 pounds – I had no idea I had gained that much. And I was obviously upset.

So I started making a few small changes, but just barely at all. At the beginning of April 2012, I was at 207, and I was ready to get serious again. I did two weeks of no-carbs, and lost 7 pounds in two weeks, to be right at 200. I tried a couple of other options, workouts and diets throughout the summer, and got down to about 196 in August 2012. But then in September, we went to Rock the Universe and I ate all sorts of awful, unhealthy food, and that kicked me off on another phase of not caring so much. Then, I was around 205 by the end of the month.

September 2012. Right under 200, probably around 198 pounds.

I stopped going to zumba, but was trying to run a couple times a week, at least for about a month or so. Then I quit running. And then once again, I quit caring so much about what I ate. And then we went through the holiday seasons of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I hardly thought twice about what I ate. Now there were definitely times where I made healthy choices and tried to eat the right thing. But it wasn't enough - nowhere near enough. And I hardly exercised at all from mid-October until the New Year.

And so to start off 2013, I weighed in at 217. I was a little devastated. Once again, I had no idea how much I had gained back. But this awful number on the scale has kick started my motivation again! I've started going to zumba again twice a week, I’m doing the 30-Day Shred twice a week at home, and I’m currently doing the Daniel Fast. I’m motivated and I’m ready, and I’m determined. I’m done with the ups and downs of my weight, and I’m ready to lose the weight for good, and learn how to keep it that way!

I've only been at this for a little over a week (today is day 9), but now I’m at 210 pounds – seven pounds lighter this year already. And I’m ready for more to melt off! My goal is to be under 200 by March, and to be hopefully 180-185 by my sister’s wedding, May 18th. I know it’s a lot to lose. I am very aware of that. But it’s got to go! It’s time to do this right, and be well on my journey. Then past that, I would like to eventually make it to 167 pounds by the end of this year, which would be 60 pounds lost total since this whole thing started in September 2010.

Me -- today! (In the bathroom at work, in one of my fav dresses...) At 210 pounds.

I know I can do this! The time is now! I’m motivated, determined and inspired. But I need friends and family to encourage and support me. I need them to hold me accountable, and help me make good eating decisions, and push me to work out even when I don’t want to. I know I can’t do this alone. I know I need help and support, and then I know I will succeed!!

I hope you guys didn't fall asleep reading all of this. I do thank you for letting me share it with you. I think it will prove to be both therapeutic for me and a motivator as well! It’s scary sharing such personal details, but I think it will be good for me in the long run. Be prepared for more updates and stuff in the future as this progresses forward! And feel free to leave encouragement, tips, recipes or links in the comments that might be helpful! :)